Arabella Paul, The Divorce Survival Coach®

When a client begins the divorce process, a common question often arises:

“What is a Divorce Coach, why would I need one and how will it benefit me when I have already engaged a solicitor?”

It’s a fair concern, but one that quickly fades once they understand the different yet highly complementary roles each professional plays.

Divorce Coach or Divorce Consultant?

While both roles support the work of a solicitor, a divorce ‘coach’ and a ‘consultant’ are two slightly different things. However, it is not uncommon to find the terms used interchangeably. A consultant will often have had a legal background but both can offer emotional, strategic, and practical support. Talk to your coach (or consultant) before beginning work with them, find out about their practice and make sure they are the right person to support you. 

A win-win for clients and their lawyers

For clients, working with a divorce coach can ultimately save time, money, and stress. Helping to prepare drafts of documents, clarifying priorities, and understanding processes means fewer hours spent with the solicitor untangling emotions or figuring out logistics.

For solicitors, having a coach involved means a more organised, emotionally regulated client which ultimately makes their job easier and more efficient.

A collaborative approach

I encourage clients to build a “Divorce Core Circle” - a small, trusted team that includes a solicitor, a financial adviser, and a divorce coach. When these professionals collaborate, the client receives well rounded support that’s tailored to their needs.

Communication is key. A shared timeline, an aligned to-do list, or a quick check-in between coach and solicitor ensures that nothing falls through the cracks. It’s not uncommon for a coach to attend meetings between clients and their solicitors, not to offer legal advice, but to help them remember key questions, stay grounded, and reflect on what was discussed afterwards.

A coach with a ‘financial lens’

With a background in financial services, I understand the high-pressure environments many of my clients come from, along with the personalities involved. This cross-sector insight allows me to bridge financial insight with emotional intelligence. I’m also trained in recognising emotional abuse and frequently support clients navigating the challenges of a toxic ex.

I regularly help clients with their Form E, explore a wide range of financial and childcare arrangements, and encourage them to remain open to new solutions. I also offer a one-off prep package for court, mediation, or key meetings, because being both emotionally and practically prepared can turn an overwhelming experience into a more manageable one. 

Legal advice with a difference

The team at Burgess Mee are trained to be ‘trauma informed’. This enables them to identify potential client trigger points and adapt communication styles to meet each client’s emotional needs. For example, they may summarise distressing legal documents before sharing them. Their approach is forward thinking and progressive, always treating clients as human beings and prioritising their wellbeing throughout the process.

Parenting with perspective

Burgess Mee and I are equally committed to helping parents navigate divorce with their children’s well being at the heart of every decision. We understand the lasting impact that conflict can have on young minds. We strongly advise against speaking negatively about the other parent in front of your child. A phrase I often share with clients is: 

“Love your kids more than you hate your ex.” 

It’s a powerful reminder to rise above the immediate emotions and keep a long-term perspective.

Final thoughts

When a divorce coach and solicitor work in tandem, clients feel supported, lawyers work more efficiently, and outcomes improve. It’s an effective approach to divorce and one that honours both the legal process and the emotional journey of a separation.

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